Sometimes I get the feeling that I am imposing
on you. I didn't have this feeling before... only
occasionally in the last couple of months. What
is going on? Is it me or am I reading your feelings
correctly? I know that friendship can sometimes be
a little heavy, that we individually want space to do
the things that we need or want to do. Yet not wanting
to distance the other at the same time. It's a hard
balance to achieve! Maybe we can be more clear
regarding the times when we can be together. Is this
too difficult? On the surface it seems so because the day
to day is at times unpredictable. It's the same with texts
or video calls. Are these too frequent? Do they bother you?
Are you happy for me to text you as I have done, almost
everyday? What is our future as friends if we don't stay
in touch? Maybe our true friend is liberty. That sense
of freedom that we have on our own, when we don't have
to think of the other, when we follow our daily routines,
look after our health and have fun. Also to have those
precious quiet times reading or just relaxing. And love?
Where is love in this? Where does 'love' go when we want
to be left alone? So does love go on holidays too? Will it
become a friend without expecting much in return? And time?
Will it be wasted? Will those opportunities be lost or will they
float about like a butterfly? It's all so confusing, really! Maybe
it's best just to be less introspective and let each day rule itself.
Don't write anything. Don't take those photos and footage
of what we do. Just enjoy each day when and if it happens!
And forget: is this what we want?
